Where you are.. (Poem)

This poem expresses exactly how I’m feeling at this point in my life.. And clearly, exactly who is on my mind..

Where You Are..

I’ve never missed someone like this. I’ve never lost sleep over someone like this. 

I can see the home I want, clear as frozen crystal. But a dark chasm separates my path. 

Your beautiful fingers lace over the pen. The way your hair scatters across your forehead.

Your hands chilled cold, lost so deep in your own world. Warmth feels so far away. 

Your eyes fall closed, heart locked in a prison of “no’s”. Questions of “why?” And “what’s the point?”

You let yourself slip, it’s too late to catch the decent. I’m there, with all your sorrow filled lament. 

What can you say? You run from this place. Push it away. Pretend it’s “for the best”, “I can’t ask her to stay.” 

How can you watch me break? Do you really think I’m safer this way?

Your legs start to shake. Heart on fire from the race. Foot trembling for a step to take. 

Your tired eyes snap back to the current second. The solitary silence the only other steady presence. 

I miss your face. I miss everything from the way you bite your lip, to your doe eyed gaze. 

You drag yourself to bed, blaming all loss of hold on your tired overworked daze. “Just let her fade away.” 

I watch it all flash in scenes of blue and gray. The missing gaps I don’t see, are what keep me awake.

Are you happier without me filling your space? Has your dream girl returned to just mere fantasy on a page? 

Have you forgotten my face? All my pictures you fawned over, did you lock up in a cage? 

Do you ever listen to my voice, just to hear me again? Bring me back to your reality, let my words tease you to sin. 

When it’s quiet like this, and you lay face up in the dark, can you feel me curled up next to you, with my hand on your heart? 

Why are faceless shadows more important than mine? The art you give to the world, leaves less and less of you behind. 

Creation and happiness are one in the same. One without the other, is a sky without rain. 

Things feel so empty and pointless these days. My sky is now gone, leaving me drowning in pain. 

I don’t wanna be in this place. I can’t run away like you can, my legs just shatter and break. 

The sun can’t reach this deep down in despair. Only darkness to blind me, suffocate, and strip bare. 

While you live in a delusion, pretending you simply don’t care. 

Maybe you don’t, and I’m alone in this struggle. Maybe being ignorant, spares you from the trouble. 

Is this all that’s left now? Sad words and sketches collecting dust? Running blindly in denial, and trapped in a room without trust? 

Fighting the desire and want, for the others real touch.. ~

We can’t help who we love, even if we have no idea if they even still think of us..

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