DDLG and the Diff between Kinks & Fetishes

Kinks are an interesting thing, I think a lot of sexual subsections get a bad rap though to be honest. They are twisted and put under a darker light, and then the whispers about these kinks take on a tone of disgust.

Rather than learning about the true practices of this particular kink, it’s easier to condemn it as “weird” or “wrong”. If it’s not something that you understand or like, most people don’t give a crap about knowing the mechanics of it.

So for any of those out there who are curious my take on this kink in a completely frank and open way, continue along ~

Kinks vs Fetishes

So I think it’s good to start off with the difference between these 2, because they aren’t the same deal per-say.

Let’s describe the 3 spectrums of sexual “practices”, I’m gonna call it that because that seems to fit haha.


At first, vanilla may sound boring and bland, but it isn’t. It’s just the ground level of sex. You have all the passion, the kissing, different positions, aggressive to making love, oral, all that.


(That guy has beautiful hands, holy shit) Anyway, now lets add some more spices to the mix.

You’ve got your favorite food dish on your plate, it looks good, smells good, you’re ready to dive in. But for added flavor, you throw a little hot sauce on top, or mix a bit of cheese in there. That’s Kinks for ya.

It can be from getting aroused by your partner wearing thigh high socks. To going crazy over the smell of their sweat. To the aforementioned DDLG, and BDSM. These aren’t things that are required for you to get aroused, they are just that extra flavor that gives the taste more pow!

Could you still eat and enjoy your favorite sweets without the whipped cream or chocolate drizzle? Of course! It’d still be fabuloso!

Kinks are just taking Tom Hiddleston, and casually removing his shirt.

They are Mila Kunis, in a school girl outfit.

I need to stop, you get it.


You know Coldstone and it’s asinine sizes?

Like it! Love it! Gotta have it!

Fetishes are the Gotta have it!

Now I’m gonna pause for a little disclaimer here-

Everyone is different, this is just a generalization and bare bones explanation.

Alright, so every day, I gotta have at least one sweet thing. Usually it’s for my breakfast. A nice plate of buttery hot waffles in a decadent pool of syrup.

(This section of the blog is making me starved, and I don’t appreciate it. It’s straying my mind to other desires ugh.)

Fetishes are that plate of waffles, without it, you got nothing. No sweet satisfaction, pun intended.

Fetishes kick it up a notch! BAM!

Meaning, whatever the fetish may be, it’s gotta be incorporated into sex in some way. Whether it’s simply fantasizing it, or needing to entertain it fully. Could be feet, or dressing in a certain outfit, even role playing a specific scenario.

The bed ain’t rockin if your fetish isn’t hoppin’.

Fetishes are demanding, they are more solid in need.

Now that that little 411 is on the DL, we can get to the main course.


I have no idea why, but I have the Pink Panther theme song in my head. Love that jive.

Anyway, the words, “yes, Daddy” get that trigger going for guys in this type of relationship.

And I wanna make something clear, as a firm practicer of this kink, this is NOT INCEST. It still fudges my numbers that this fact isn’t apparent from the jump.

Anyone familiar with sub/dom relationship dynamics will understand.

You don’t see your partner as your father, it’s just not like that.

A daddy is a dom type that is firm and protecting, in control, but also caring and sweet. It’s not all spanking and collars. There are different versions of this since everyone is different and adds their own touches.

You could be a little (sub) who has rules like a bedtime and is given tasks to complete in a day.

Or it could just be as simple as calling your partner daddy, and him being the dominant force in the bedroom.

Which ever aspects you pick from this wide range, it’s still rooted in the sub/dom dynamic.

My Personal Take

Some of you MAY be rolling your eyes and thinking, “wow this chick is a real perv, and clearly a sexual cringefest”. Fair enough, everyone is gonna react how they do and you can think this is too much, or just a frank discussion.

Something about being a cute innocent sub, being dominated by a calm cool confident daddy is just damn hot. That voice in my ear calling me a “good girl”. Those big strong hands on my body that heat up every inch they touch. How he tells me that I’m “his babygirl and no one else will have me but him”.

You wanna please them, and in return they dote on you, pamper you, treat you like a princess.

They can “punish” you if you act like a brat. You can curl up in their lap as they stroke your hair. A perfect mix of hard and soft.

Submission is something that’s earned, not just given. My trust, my obedience, my submission, is earned over time. If you expect it right away, you’re vastly mistaken. I’m not just gonna sit down for any guy who snaps his fingers.

It’ll be special and exclusive to you.

These dynamics can’t exist without trust and respect. It’s something between the 2 of you that you decide and come together to make the “rules” and how far into daily life you want it to go.


Maybe this gave a bit of insight to some of you. Hopefully overall it was just an enjoyable read. What you and your partner do is your business and as long as you aren’t hurting someone or an animal, go for it.

If you guys have any questions please leave a comment. I’d love to hear others opinions on this topic. Write what you feel like and I’ll be sure to read it!

So I’ll leave it with- Cuffs n’ Collars, Blindfolds and Restraints, BDSM is a fun little game~

7 thoughts on “DDLG and the Diff between Kinks & Fetishes

  1. Well stated. I’m of the opinion that if you dont like something dont watch or go somewhere else. It really gets to me when people have to push their nose into things just so they can bitch about it and condom others. I enjoyed your explanations.


    1. Thank you! I rarely rarely ever judge a persons kinks. I think what gets me is how prudish people can be, like girls constantly have to be poised or they are seen as a slut. Just because I write about sex stuff and enjoy talking about it, doesn’t mean I ball every guy I meet. There’s no middle ground. Either you’re innocent or you’re a slut, in most people’s eyes anyway. It’s a big pet peeve I have tbh

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Exactly! I think everyone thinks “dirty” things but some push them away or secretly hide them while others embrace the freedom of thought.
        And… just because I write about a 3-way and use it as a fantasy with my wife doesn’t mean we would do it for real.


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