I wish I could forget the day we met, I wish I could forget the way your smile looked. I wish I could forget the sound of your voice, the way it made my heart skip a beat like a record on repeat. The way your eyes shined like blue diamonds swept up in a raging sea. You’re still as beautiful as ever to me.
That wish is an echo from a hollowed out dream, I pictured you and me, taking on the world, a force no void could defeat. You and me against everything. I wonder if you remember those talks, those times I gave a rise to your beating heart. Did you drink them away in a moments decision? Witnessing the murder of “our” existence.
Did you ever once feel what I felt? Hopes and dreams engulfed by your own person hell. A place so warm turns a man to ice, freezes their heart, turns truth to lies. What are you protecting yourself from? What are you trying to hide? You’ve already locked yourself in a castle and thrown away the keys to your life. Never letting anyone inside, all those who approach are an enemy across the line.
I wanted to be your light, a crack shining through a tinted window to bring back life to your eyes. You just wouldn’t have it, you just refused to see beyond your pride. Had to prove me wrong, that you weren’t able to be saved, and I never should have tried. Does it make you happy, being in the dark, blind to any good side?
Writing this now, looking back on all that was said, all that was planned, the way the gap between us melted every time that we spoke. I feel empty and clouded, so far removed from who I once was. I’m just a hopeless drunk wishing to win the lottery, that one day soon you’ll call and ask me to come back with you.. ❄️