It’s a Strange World..

Sitting here on my couch/bed, paying bills and assessing what all I need to do today, I feel a sense of strange melancholy.

It’s been raining for the past 5 days, and so the vibe has been gray and coaxing me to wanna sleep. Today is the first day of sun and a blanket of left over tiredness is still covering me.

It’s definitely not going too far to say that I seem to attract some unique people to my side. Some good and awesome, most though fall into the same category of ego centric narcissist.

They may be unique in where they come from, how they view things, but it ends up the same rodeo. Which has brought me to my dislike of people as a whole. Not all obviously, but lately it’s just another drop in the bucket of delusional, self centered assholes.

Now let me make this clear, focusing on yourself is not a bad thing, nor is it selfish. We all gotta focus on ourselves so we don’t get lost in who we are and what we want out of life. If you’re always catering to everyone else, you become a shadow, not a physical person who should be acknowledged and respected. You become a “yes man”. Just used for whatever the person wants and then left in the shadows.

The people I’m referring to are the “seagulls” of society.

Wanna know why I named them that? If you’ve ever seen Finding Nemo, it’ll click.

That vacuous “chirp”, that’s a perfect representation of how a lot of people speak, just lowered to one single word for convenience sake. Take the “in” out, and you got yourself a winner.

“Me, me, me, Me, ME!”

Now look, as I said, there is nothing wrong with putting your own well being first and speaking about yourself in a non egotistical, non judgmental, inclusive way. And to clarify, that means, you talk about yourself and your life, but you ALSO listen and acknowledge their life. It’s gotta be a mutual exchange.

If I had a dime for every time someone completely blew off my life and problems, only to expect sympathy and support on their own, I’d be Mr. Burns wealthy.

With everything being so instantaneous now and easily accessible, people have lost what little patience they had to begin with. And now, harbor the attention span of a Goldfish. Which is about 5 to 10 seconds I think in the Goldfish mind.

Now, I’m not one of those types that craps on technology and the luxuries it provides. I’m not the type to blame all of societies struggles and conflicts on social media. I think they were always there, social media just made each one world wide knowledge. It spread it to the world and gave people the chance to voice their own opinions. Which I think of course is a double edge sword.

But respect seems to have dropped even less, right along with patience, and attention span length.

I actually am grateful in a lot of ways for how we’ve “evolved” to be able to meet people from all over the world, and finally not feel so isolated to our little corner of the Earth. In my town, I have never found a lasting friend or a relationship. It’s always been at a distance at first.

“Sometimes the universe will give you the perfect person, it just won’t put them right next door.” – Ruby E (ie me)

Re-reading this post I see how discombobulated my thought pattern is, so I’m gonna try and clear this up to a solid point. (٥° ֊ °)

My point for this rant is, though we are more “connected” than ever, I feel less and less desire to look for any connections. The incessant chirp of “me, Me, ME”, being the shoulder for everyone, but getting no reciprocation. Wasting my valuable time on another “seagull” who treats everyone like another shallow easy meal. Then will lose interest in a second and go off to find another one.

It genuinely gets to be a disappointment after so many attempts. It took me a long time to break through the shadow I’d created and step into my own light. To see how valuable my time and care is, and how 99% of the people you meet aren’t worthy of it.

What drives people to never self reflect? To never stop and think about the person on the other end of the line, or screen, or table?

To turn into a “seagull” who simply wants something for nothing. Always on the hunt for a free ride?

Well, before I pass out due to sitting here not moving my slug like body, I better conclude this. Life shall go on with or without me, so might as well roll with the waves.

So I’ll leave it with- Your time is one of the most precious things you have, don’t waste it on another “seagull”. – Ruby E

#daily, #depression, #anxiety, #new, #life, #mylife, #recovery, #art, #artist, #writer, #emo, #nerd, #otaku, #grunge, #alternative, #indie, #mentalhealth, #relatable, #pain, #sadness, #deep, #live, #aquarius, #goals, #change, #aesthetic, #edgy, #poem, #poet, #poetry, #personal, #pansexual, #mood, #love, #feeling, #update, #recovery, #mystyle, #pretty, #gamergirl, #geek, #antisocial, #90s, #vibe, #senpai

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