I Need A New Drug… Part 1 My Daily Doses

It’s 3:30 in the am and I woke up suddenly, so I figured I’d do what I wanted to do yesterday, right now.

The doctor on Friday was relatively routine, discussed my heart issue and did an EKG which came back fine. So he decided to take some blood for tests and give me a referral to a cardiologist. The blood taking was as usual for me, extremely uncomfortable and quite scary. Yes I may have tattoos, but I assure you, it’s not the same beast ok? The poking of a vein is just so disturbing to me, not to mention I always bruise and become sore, like right now.

So in the meantime while waiting for the results and the cardiologist appointment, I thought I’d discuss a bit about the prescription drugs I take.

Taking meds has never really been an issue for me. I know with many people I’ve met they seem to rarely take them or not at all. So when I show my pill intake they are kinda surprised aha. I take the prescription meds as well as vitamins and minerals overall.

Technically I’m on 4 different meds now, I started a new one recently. Each prescribed by my psychiatrist for my mental health. I’m a bit hesitant I must admit to share this because I guess I still have a tiny fear in the back of my mind that when people hear “you’re on psych meds” the reaction is, “man you must be nuts”.

It’s so sad to me how some people still think depression isn’t real and is made up. It’s not just sad it’s infuriating. Kids who’s parents don’t believe in it while they’re kids are suffering and they refuse to get them help.

I digress, that’s a whole other topic for another post aha. The meds I take are for energy, depression, anxiety, and mood enhancement I guess.

Starting with Adderall💊

I take Adderall for my complete lack of energy. I have a virus known as EBV and there is no known cure. But it causes horrible fatigue, among other things like body inflammation and weight gain (ugh). So taking it in the morning gives me the energy to make it through the day without sleeping nonstop. No side effects either that I can tell. It’s funny that my mother takes the same thing only for extreme ADHD.

Second is Prozac💊

I don’t take the highest dose they know offer, just 80mg. But I obviously take that for depression. I’ve honestly had no side effects from it that I can tell and for me it works damn good. It puts the depression level down to id say 15% and the random spells are way way less often. I feel I guess as you’d say “normal”, though normal is beyond relative, I honestly couldn’t say what my normal is. That was the first antidepressant I tried and I haven’t changed. If I don’t take it, I crash and burn real quick.

Next is Propranolol💊

I take this for anxiety, now I should note that I haven’t been taking this as much due to my heart issue and starting my new med. This helps in really high stress situations like, flying on a plane, driving on the freeway, getting my blood taken, things that freak me out. No side effects that I can tell, it just slows down your heart rate when you start to panic.

Last is Lamotrigine💊

This is the drug I recently started. It’s used for treatment of bipolar disorder, but mostly for giving the Prozac an extra “push” so to speak. So far, it’s working out very well, no side effects, and instead of just feeling “eh” I feel motivated to actually wanna do some things I enjoy. It’s not a miracle drug by any means, it just helps with my overall mood. I feel chill and like I wanna be awake.

Now I feel I should say that this heart issue I’ve been having for a while now, way before the drugs started, so I doubt it’s anything to do with it.

Meds for me are a daily thing, taking pills in the morning while I eat breakfast and then going about my day. They don’t bother me in the least and I know they help my issues. Clinical depression needs to be treated, mental illness runs in my mothers side of the family pretty heavily. My aunt is Bipolar, my mother is in denial Bipolar and ADHD, her brother has ADHD, and who knows what else they might have. It’s just part of life, part of the hand I was dealt.

For anyone else out there taking prescription medication for what ever issue it may be, don’t feel ashamed or like an old person. We all get dealt a hand and this is just one of the cards. I respect that some people don’t agree with pharmaceuticals, but I truly believe they do help in many cases.

Depression and mental illness are a real thing, and don’t let anyone bully you into thinking you’re just “crazy” or “making it up”. You aren’t crazy, you aren’t a freak. Speak up, talk to someone you feel close with, I know it’s not easy by any means and you may be afraid, but you aren’t alone. There is help, you don’t have to live in constant pain and misery.

Life isn’t easy, we all suffer, accepting that and knowing it gets better is how we keep going. These medications don’t prevent bad times from happening, but they do help you push through them and keep going. What ever the reason you have, it’s valid and you deserve to be heard, you’re way stronger than you think. It gets better. ❤️

So this was just a little insight into my daily meditations and why I take them. I wanted to focus on just prescription drugs, not the vitamins and minerals aspect as those aren’t really drugs haha. For part 2 I’ll discuss my other daily doses and things I do for my chronic pain.

If you’ve read all this, I truly thank you, even if you didn’t, thank you for checking out my blog. 🖤 It means a great deal to me.

So I’ll leave it with- Life isn’t easy, overcoming uncertainty is hard, but we do, we keep living, you’re always stronger than you think..🍂

#daily #depression #anxiety #medication #new #life #mylife #recovery #art #artist #writer #emo #nerd #otaku #grunge #alternative #grunge #indie #mentalhealth #relatable #pain #sadness #deep #live #90s #mood #feeling

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