Delays and Sick Days..

Another gap in posts unfortunately, I have the worst cold and tomorrow I’ll be going to see the doctor. Not only for my cold, but also for my heart. In early Jan of this year I had an episode where my heart was so weak I nearly fainted and passed out. And it seems to only be progressing so, maybe this time they will find something. 😪

I’ve now blocked two people who were very important to me, “A” and my mother. After her last words being “thank you for ruining my life and being a liar” I decided enough is enough and blocked her number. Which is a huge deal for me considering I’ve been at her beck and call my whole life..

After seeing my psychiatrist on Monday she let me know she was proud I did that and that it’s a long time coming. You just do not say that to your kid. She’s also very worried about my stress level and how it’s legitimately killing me faster with each passing day. She said flat out “you are not in a good place” and I agreed. I’ve had massive amounts of stress my whole life, and it’s showing.

Though I have done the outline of 2 stories I’m gonna be working on. As of now I’m writing the character bios and backgrounds, after that I’m gonna just start and go with the flow. But I’d love to post it here of course.

Tomorrow I’d like to do a post on my health and the stuff I take daily as well as some other things I do for my neck pain and tension. It definitely needs a dedicated post of its own. I’m on a new med and who knows what I’ll be on tomorrow, so I’ll update with all that.

I’m horribly tired and downright in the dumps from this cold. It just came on due to my weak immune system and shit with my mom. Still though, I am trying to get my life on track, even making a daily planner. I want to spend time each day working on my writing, art, eBay stores and just general body and house maintenance. I have to hope there is a light waiting to shine in all this darkness..

So I’ll leave it with- You’re the only one who can fight for you, no one else can. Be your own hero

#aesthetic #art #artist #artwork #vaporwave #sad #deep #90s #retro #grunge #indie #emo #emogirl #loner #anxiety #depression #alternative #metal #punk #nerd #otaku #writer #broken #pain #life, #anime #daily #justme

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